X-out-mas

MERRY CHRISTMAS. Consider the meaning of that sentence. What's really important about the 25th of december, for all of us MeGen. kids? The new meaning of christmas; selfless parents buying selfish children gifts that won't ever make them happy. "Be happy, at least on the 25th, if not on every other day of the year." Often by the end of the day we can't stand the distant relatives that came to visit us and we can't wait for they day to be over and for them to leave. "Merry Christmas indeed." If we can't stand them for one day, then why bother? Tradition? Is tradition important? Doing what we've always done? Why not question tradition, question values and try to find some meaning in these things?

They say I'm trying my hardest not to conform. They're absolutely right. I don't know what I want. I am a chameleon. I'm always changing my mind, depending on  how good the people around me are at arguing their points. Right now I really don't like christmas. I'm making pitchers for my family. Its all I can do. So that's what I'll do, I guess.

...

And I keep contradicting myself.

At any rate, be happy tomorrow, guys. Everyone that I know. On both sides of the ocean. Everyone that I've met, everyone that I remember and  everyone that I forgot. BRIKO, j'espere que tu vas apprecier les cadeaux du pere noel, mais je souhaite que tu apprecies les cadeaux plus nombreux de tes parents. Merci. Merci pour les skis neufs. Merci d'etre ne. Thanks for giving me the change to meet the world. To realise that I'm a little piece of nothing. Honestly, thank you. I couldn't have done it alone. I still have this foolish worldview. I still don't know who I am or what I want or even if I want anything. I don't want gifts for "christmas" gifts suck. When you're happy, its nice, when you're not, you still have to pretend that you are and be nice. When you don't want gifts you have to pretend that you did and are happy for the presents you got.

I've got enough gifts already. One of them cost almost 50 000$ Enough to last a lifetime. And it wasn't from Santa. So honestly, thank you. I appreciate all that you've done and all that you've never been thanked for. I'm at fault. These eyes are not for seeing. They judge, though.

Merry Christmas. Be happy tomorrow. Sleep well. I made you a gift I thought you'd like. For once.